Romanticism only flourishes where traditional barriers for
the free and natural relations between men and women are strongest.
Consequently the practical and unrestrained Balinese in love
does not idolize the woman be desires, but goes directly to
the point. If he feels strongly attracted by a girl, he does
not pretend a platonic interest and must culminate his desire
by sleeping with her. A direct solicitation constitutes his
declaration of love: " Do you want? (Kayun? Nyak?)"
The only words in Balinese for "love" is kayun, suka,
deman, nyak, all mean desire, " to like", and "
to want", while stronger terms like lulut and tresna have
a certain illegal connotations adultery (mamitra) on, as in
Without a word in their vocabulary for the abstract idea of
romantic love, the Balinese does not develop a morbid unhappiness
when failing in love. A man who is refused by a girl may be
unhappy for a while even as among us, but soon he will forget
her and fall in love with a less recalcitrant girl.
Should the man be accepted, the affair may be developed into
attachment that will in most cases lead to marriage. It is not
infrequent that the couple may live together gendak before marriage,
although not exactly in sin, since gendak is permitted as a
sort of a trial marriage, not yet made legal in public and before
the gods. Often in a prearranged. marriage the couple is allowed
gendak, and there are regulationstbat protect the woman against
desertion and that make children born in the gendak period legal.
Even among the more puritanical Bali Agas gendak appears in
the traditional village law, as in the following excerpt from
the law of the village of Lumbuan in the Bangli mountains:
"…the desa orders a man accused of intimacy with
I a woman to take her as wife, making the offerings and ceremonies
mentioned above. Should the man refuse to marry her he, has
to pay the Penyeheb (a roast pig) and tumbakan (a cow) while
the woman will pay only the tumbakan to clear her impurity and
the pollution of the village (sebel). Should there result a
child, it belongs to the woman. If it is not known who the man
was, the woman is responsible and must provide the penyeheb
and tumbakan within an allotted time." (Bawanagara, T.
11, No. 8/9, 1933)
This attitude must not be interpreted as one, of promiscuity;
the Balinese like to marry young, and a man after love has usually
marriage in view. However, a girl is not too, easily persuaded
and puts off her suitors, often too long, and the ~ boy is either
bored and leaves her or is obliged to use stronger methods.
Shy people who are after success in love maycinploy the services
of professional matchmakers (ceti) or those of a magician to
make a reluctant girl yield. To appear beautiful in the eyes
of a desired person certain amulets are employed most often
ancient Javanese bronze disks with a hole in the centre like
Chinese coins, which are carried on the belt. Those used by
men (pipis ardjuna) have an image in low relief of their semi-divine,
romantic hero Ardjuna, while those tiged by women are the socalled
" moon-coins" (pipis bulan) the moon coins I had occasion
to observe seemed to me simple old kepengs. in which the.border
was not properly centered roucing an accidental design like
a new moon.These coinns in retality ancient amulets, are believed
to have been made bray the Gods and not by humans; I was told
that they are found lying around the temple at night if it is
the wish of the gods to preRsenion4e with a magic coin. The
lucky owners often lend them or rent them to prospective lovers
for rather high prices. They a are kept wrapped in a little
rag, covered with ointments and flower petals so that they will
not die " and become useless.
