Bombings anniversary brings back pain
I Wayan Juniartha
The Jakarta Post

On the last step of the stairs her feeble feet betray her, sending her frail body head first to the concrete ground. A slight thumping sound was heard.

Chusnul Khotimah lay motionless on the ground, encircled by dozens of journalist who just a few minutes earlier, had overzealously peppered her with barrage of questions that brought back painful memories.

“My chest felt tight,” she said earlier, while trying to break away from the reporter’s siege.

Even as a young doctor trying to revive her, several photo journalists were busy capitalizing on the moment, taking continuous shots to capture the ’dramatic’ moment.

When Haji Agus Bambang Priyanto, chairman of the Balinese Muslim Community Fardhu Kifayah, who showed exceptional courage and compassion immediately after two powerful bombs ripped through paddy’s and the Sari Club restaurants at the Legian Kuta on Oct. 12 2002, brought Chusnul to an ambulance, the journalists already had their field day.

The attacks which killed at least 202 people and injured over 300 others, were the biggest after terrorist link to Osama Bin Laden’s Al Qaeda network turned passenger planes into deadly missiles in Washington and New York on Sept. 11 2001, killing more then 3000 people.

For the survivor and the victim’s families like Chusnul, Sunday’s commemoration could only mean one thing – memories of a painful and devastating experience.

She was walking along a narrow alley next to the Paddy’s pub when the first explosion shattered the Earth, causing an electricity pole fall right into her face.

Burning from the pain, she managed to crawl away from the pole only to be hit by a blast of heat caused by the second explosion. When the commotion ended, she lay atop rubble with shrapnel in her left foot and severe burn that later left her hands and face badly deformed.

“All I could feel was pain and a sense of restlessness” she recalled.

Australian doctors patched her wounds with tissue taken from her left thigh. The surgery improved her condition, but also left her with unbearable itchiness and sweating.

“Many people told me that I was very lucky to survive the tragedy. Yet I sometimes crave death because what is the point of living if many people find my face, that is me, repulsive to look at” she said pointing to her face and hands.
The wounds also prevent her from doing her door-to-door sales work, robbing her of her livelihood and what she enjoyed doing.

“Fortunately the Bali Hati Foundation and several individual provided me with funds so I could start a new business back home in Sidoarjo, East Java. At least I now have source of income to provide for my two little boys. They are the sole reason for my being alive today” she said.

Two days before the explosion, Chusnul visited the explosion site for the first time. Overwhelmed by a mixture of pain, anger and fear she collapsed.

However she insisted on participating in the commemoration ceremony on Sunday. Once again, the experience overwhelmed her and when a group of journalist kept on questioning her on the details of the dark night, psychological exhaustion shut down her mind, sending her body to the ground.

According to Haji Bambang the personal pains of losing love ones or of falling victim of a tragedy is a most difficult thing to heal.

“The tragedy had caused a lot of people to lose their job. But they will regain those jobs the moment the island’s economy picks up. But how about the families who have lost their sons or daughters? Will they get their beloved ones back?” ask Haji Bambang sobbing.

One year is relatively long period, but for traumatized victims who have endured excruciating pain, both physical and psychological or for the families who are haunted by the memories of their loved ones, it was as if the tragedy took place yesterday.